How does the body actually “keep the score”?
There’s a phrase I often come back to in my work: the body remembers.
Even when the mind has tried to move on.
Even when the story feels blurry, distant, or hard to put into words.
This idea is beautifully explored in the book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, which has become foundational in helping us understand that trauma is not just something we think about—it’s something we carry.
Trauma isn’t just in your thoughts—it’s in your physiology
When we experience something overwhelming—whether it’s a single event or a series of smaller, chronic stressors—our nervous system responds in order to protect us.
Fight. Flight. Freeze. Faint.
These responses are not choices. They are deeply intelligent, automatic survival mechanisms. But when those responses don’t get fully processed or completed, they don’t just disappear.
They stay active in the body.
This can look like:
Chronic tension in the shoulders or jaw
A constant sense of unease or hypervigilance
Feeling shut down, numb, or disconnected
Digestive issues, headaches, or fatigue
Emotional reactions that feel bigger than the moment
The body is essentially saying: Something hasn’t finished yet.
The body holds what the mind cannot
One of the most important shifts in trauma-informed therapy is moving away from the idea that healing only happens through talking or thinking.
Because often, trauma exists beneath language.
You might not have clear memories. You might not be able to explain why something feels the way it does. But your body knows.
It shows up in:
The tightening in your chest when something reminds you (even subtly) of the past
The way your breath changes in certain situations
The urge to withdraw, people-please, or protect yourself
The moments you feel “too much” or “not enough” without understanding why
These are not flaws. These are imprints.
Your nervous system learned something important—and it’s still trying to keep you safe.
Why insight alone isn’t always enough
This is something I see often:
Someone understands their patterns. They can name their history. They know why they feel the way they do.
And yet… their body still reacts.
This can feel frustrating. Confusing. Even discouraging.
But it makes sense.
Insight lives in the thinking brain.
Trauma often lives in the body.
So while insight is incredibly valuable—it’s only one piece of the healing process.
To truly shift these patterns, we have to include the body in the conversation.
Healing is a bottom-up process
When we begin to work with the body, we’re speaking directly to the nervous system—the place where these patterns are actually stored.
This doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming.
It can look like:
Noticing your breath and gently lengthening your exhale
Bringing awareness to areas of tension and allowing softening
Grounding through your senses—touch, sound, sight
Movement practices like yoga, walking, or stretching
Simply pausing long enough to ask: What am I feeling in my body right now?
These small moments of awareness begin to create safety.
And safety is what allows the nervous system to update.
From survival to presence
When trauma is held in the body, we are often living in a state of adaptation—responding to the present moment through the lens of the past.
But as we begin to gently reconnect with the body, something shifts.
The nervous system starts to recognize:
I am not there anymore.
This doesn’t happen all at once. It happens slowly, through repeated experiences of safety, awareness, and presence.
Over time, the body learns it can let go—little by little.
Your body is not the problem—it’s the messenger
If there’s one thing I hope you take from this, it’s this:
Your body is not working against you.
It’s working for you.
Every sensation, every reaction, every protective pattern is an attempt to keep you safe based on what you’ve lived through.
Healing is not about forcing the body to change.
It’s about learning to listen to it differently.
To meet it with curiosity instead of judgment.
With patience instead of urgency.
Because when the body finally feels safe enough…
it knows exactly how to begin releasing what it’s been holding all along.